Wednesday, February 23, 2011

A Legacy of Love

Today marks the 5th anniversary of my dad's passing and although he's gone, his full of life character and spirit remains in our hearts forever.
The anticipation of this day has really caused me to reflect and examine my feelings about what this mark means to me, the truth is I don't know if I can articulate my feelings accurately and I'm not even sure I need to.

I did find myself wondering what it means that he's no longer physically here, where is his spirit? I thought about what it might be like, you know, the afterlife. I realized that in the same instant that we say goodbye to our loved one that they may about to be greeted by many they've loved and lost in their lifetime, parents and grandparents and friends lost too soon.
I imagine him jamming with Miles Davis and John Coltrane, Ella Fitzgerald and Sara Vaughan, THAT would be heaven to him!

I was reminded by a good friend today how blessed I was to have had the amazing relationship I did with my dad, she's so right, I have so many treasured memories and not everyone has that with a parent.

I'm reminded of him daily in so many ways, some memories evoke sadness but most remind me of how valued and loved I was by him. So many of the memories cause me to smile and some just make me laugh out loud.I'm happy to say I inherited his sense of humor but also his bad temper and intolerance for things that most simply ignore or don't notice.
I'll always think of him as I cringe at the widely misused and unnecessary repetitive phrase " he, himself".
And of course, as I spout obscenities at the table leg on which I have just practically broken my baby toe.

He is missed by many more than me today; his life partner of nearly 30 years, Danny, my brother, Sean, his sister, Kathie, his grandson, Spencer and my husband, Ben,so many friends, too many to list really- what a tribute to his endearing personality!

This day has turned out to be full of love for me and I'm sending love to all of you thinking of him today and to anyone that's felt the sting of grief when losing someone you love dearly.

"I am ready to meet my maker, but whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."

Winston Churchill (1874-1965) British politician.

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